i love when people write about me on here:] grow up.

this weekend has been one for the books. i feel so free. over the past 10 months, its been like i have had a 20 year old baby that i had to watch over. but now that hes gone, i feel like its about me.

so last night was harriets retirement dinner. it was so bittersweet. seeing everyone together again, the entire PCK back together. yet it was closure for a lot of things.

• seeing Z again was amazing. i forgot how much i miss working for him. i realized how much i miss having him around with his jokes. when he first left, it was so sudden. but im glad we all got to see the z-man again.
• having mama harriet retire is a great thing, yet it sucks at the same time. ever since i first started working at party city, harriet has been like another mother to me. shes given advice, shes listened to the problems, and always tried to make sure everything was okay in life. going to work and not having mama harriet standing behind the counter is still something that im not used to and its been over a month. i miss having myron come in with his smile and great attitude no matter what was going on.
• everyone seemed so happy, like for one night, all bulllshit and all problems were put behind, and everyone enjoyed themselves. except for one person.

i wish everyone the best of luck as you move forward in life, no matter if its retirement, college, high school, or just living life. PCK will always have a place inmy heart. its like one big family<3

work sucks. i was pretty much worthless today, not gonna lie.

this weekend has been very interesting, to say the least.

chilis and kickback tonight:]

Last nights conversation:

Me: mann oh mann im tired

Nina: you should just go asian, i mean michael jackson went white, so why cant you go asian?

Me: hahahahaha

I laughed so hard I criedd

for the first time in months

i had a great night with no worries.

i feeel like i should be happy, but im not. i have so much going for me in school, and i have a ehh job. i have great friends. great family. but in the end, i feel like its not what i want. i want to be able to go to sleep with a smile on my face, and wake up with one.

madisonprime:

I’m off in 2 hours. I’m on my lunch right now shoving my face with greasy food yumm. My hairs smells like bonfire and everyone I’ve been around today has made sure to point it out lol. I’m driving my boss home after work, this is bound to be awkward so I think I’m going to speed. I’ve been so incredibly happy latley. I knew the whole time that if he was out of my life I would be happier but I didn’t know I would be this much happier. I can’t believe I spent so much time being miserable for no reason. Oh well lesson learned right? Right now my main focus is to just make as many friends as possible. I just want to enjoy this happy time while it lasts.

 Maddddie! we didnt mind smelling your bonfire hair:]

http://1000awesomethings.com/ ««< this made me smile:]

so theres one person today, out of like 50, that made me smile so big my cheeks hurt. thank youuu

Its a friday night

and im home watching the rugrats on itunes:] simply things make my night.:]

todays been horribleee

10 months of bullshit. Countless fights. Too many disappointments. Hundreds of lies. 3 pages written, and 5 mintues of tears. Its all come down to this

i feel like i have no emotions lately. the words and actions that are supposed to make me either happy or sad or mad, dont. im becoming like a freaking robot or something. someone save me.